Humour September 2006

An odd-job guy was going door-to-door looking for work, when he came upon a home owner who said that he'd pay $200 to have his porch painted. The odd-jobber agreed, was given a can of paint and a brush, and was shown to the back of the house. In just two hours, the guy came back to the door with the news that he was finished. The home owner paid him and complimented him on the fast work. The odd-jobber thanked him, and as he was leaving said, "And, by the way, that's not a Porsche, that's a Mercedes!"

A doctor, a lawyer and a priest were in a sinking yacht, miles from shore and surrounded by sharks. It soon became apparent that if one of them could swim to shore to get help they might survive. The priest suggested they draw straws to determine who would make the swim, but the lawyer surprised them all by volunteering. As he jumped into the sea, two huge sharks swooped in beside him, but instead of devouring him, each offered him a fin. He grabbed on, and, holding a dorsal fin in each hand, the sharks carried him gently to shore. "Saints be praised!" cried the priest. Turning to the doctor, he asked, "Have you ever seen the likes of that?" The doctor was nonplussed. "Professional courtesy," he replied.

Three strings go into a bar. The first string asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Aren't you a string?"

The string answers "Yes, I am."

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The second string orders a beer. But the bartender won't serve him either.

The third string heads for the restroom. He scrunches up until he's tied up.
Then he reaches on top and pulled apart some of his threads. He returns to the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you a string?" To which the third string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Sept 2006: Plato: For the greater good.

Humour Septenber 2006