One-Liners
Is this apisdn umop or am I just standing on my head? --neb
I thought it would be nice to get a job at a duty-free shop, but
it doesn't sound like there's a whole heck of a lot to do...
Promises are like snowballs - easy to make but hard to keep.
Regardless of how much patience we have, we would prefer never to
use any of it.
Show me a home where the buffalo roam, and I'll show you a very
messy house.
Some people eat from the three basic food groups - canned, frozen
and take out.
Some people couldn't pour water out of a boot if there was a hole
in the toe and the directions were printed on the heel.
Statistics always remind me of the fellow who drowned in a river
whose average depth was only three feet
Success, for some people, depends on becoming well known. For
others, it depends on never being found out.
AtDhVaAnNkCsE (Think about it.... you'll get it!)Age is not important unless you're cheese or wine.
A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to
load the car.A man wrapped up in himself makes a mighty small bundle.
A man diving from a 60-foot platform into a pail of water is
only a drop in the bucketA night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a
day's work.What do you call it when two egotists butt heads? An I for an I!
What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when he ordered a martini?
Olive or twist?What's a shotgun wedding? A case of wife or death!