More humour
from the net
For those who love language:-
1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris...are
in-Seine.
2. A backward poet writes...inverse.
3. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of
speaking.
4. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
5. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
6. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
7. A man needs a mistress...just to break the
monogamy.
8. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
9. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor
play.
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
12. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
13. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
14. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two
tired.
15. The definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
17. In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism your count
votes.
18. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but
broke it off.
19. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
20. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
21. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
22. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
23. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.
24. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
25. Local Area Network in Australia: ... the LAN down
under.
26. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the
key.
27. Every calendar's days are numbered.
28. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint
mine.
29. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
30. He had a photographic memory that was never
developed.
31. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
32. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a
small medium at large.
33. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed
in the end.
34. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a
mall.
35. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
36. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
37. Acupuncture is a jab well done.